I need a job.
I have been unemployed for a while now. At the time quitting my job seemed like a good idea. “It’s time for me to move on,” I thought. “It’s time to move onto something bigger,” I thought. “I can’t be a kitchen hand forever,” I thought.
If I’d have thought a bit more I would have gotten another job before I quit. The point was though that it was time for change.
That idea didn’t work for the ALP; lord knows why I thought it would work for me.
The problem is I’m not really sure what I want to do. I mean, obviously I want to be a writer. I have things in motion to get my book published, so that’s looking pretty sunny. But as any writer will tell you (except for J. K. Rowling perhaps), writing isn’t a very profitable career.
So while I write, I’m going to need a job that actually comes with an income. But the more I search for jobs the more I realise I’m not suited to employment. I can’t believe how many jobs involve sales. I applied for a photography assistant’s job, and went for an interview the other day. They gave me a questionnaire to fill out (one of those ones where you fill circle the answers; sometimes, always, never, seldom etc). Some of the questions went like this;
“I enjoy small talk from the seller.”
“I want the seller to understand my feelings.”
“I question the seller on key points.”
Several questions of my own popped into my head, namely a) Why aren’t you asking me about clients rather than sellers and b) What the hell does this have to do with taking photos?
It seems that no matter what the job is, it will always involve a certain degree of pushing things onto other people, be it household appliances or having their children photographed. This leaves me in quite a conundrum. I like to think of myself as a people person, but I’m not the sort of people person who says ‘Good afternoon, how may I serve you,’ or ‘Would you like entrees with that?’ or even ‘I recommend you buy the 6 inch plasma flat screen TV because you’re a high earning, upwardly mobile, hedonistic bastard with more money than sense’.
It’s all down to what I need out of a job. 1) I need a job which will actually interest me – something where I can follow my passions such as language, history, research, books, writing. 2) I need a job where I’m not in other people’s faces, trying to explain to them why they should give their money to my bosses when there are so many banks out there that will also willingly rob them blind. 3) I need a job where I can learn to do it as I go along, rather than having to go and get yet another qualification. 4) I need a job which requires no previous experience in that area as it is impossible to get work experience when the only way to get a job is if you’ve already had experience in the first place, which is impossible to get unless you can get a job to get experience which is…. Etc. And so forth.
Surely there is a job out there for people like me?
Apparently not. I skim through each job I come across. It’s a little depressing. I cross them each off my list as I realise with a sinking feeling that I don’t fit any of the criteria. “Must have sales experience.” “2 years teaching experience required.” “Post-grad preferred.” “Must have a Certificate III or higher.” “Must have own panda.” Or, the one which lets me down the most; “Must enjoy working with people.”
Where does that leave the shy, awkward, inexperienced guy with a Communications degree?
The problem is that as a society we are too focused on competition, and of getting ahead of everyone else. Everyone seems to want to earn more, have bigger houses, have bigger boats, be king of the hill, head of the list, cream of the crop of the top of the heap, my little town blues are melting away, I’ll make a brand new start of it in old New York…..!
But beneath all that is a lot of clawing and backstabbing and conniving and lying and, unfortunately, very little spontaneous performances of old Broadway tunes.
There is hope though. I have been volunteering at Strathfield recently for a program which helps migrants improve their English skills. No qualification needed, no sales, no competitive markets, no serving food to overweight, upper-class prats who don’t know how to cook for themselves. Just sitting down with people and doing the best I can to help them; teaching them what I know, and in return learning more about other people, other cultures and the world.
If I could get paid to do that, I’d have it made.