SCENE 3
INT. ROOM IN THE UNIVERSITY
GREGOR, HARRIET and DAVID are sitting in a deserted classroom. David and Harriet are sitting side by side in the front row, and Gregor is pacing up and down in front of a whiteboard and a projector screen. SERGEANT CONSTABLE is sitting at the back corner with a notebook.
David: (to Harriet). This is rather exciting isn’t it?
(The Inspector stops pacing and slams a fist down on the table).
Gregor: (angrily) Murder is never exciting! It is serious, horrible business that affects people in the most terrible ways! (hysterically) It’s a life altering crime that haunts you for your whole life!
David: (to Harriet) I like this one. He’s weird.
Harriet: (to Gregor) You’ll have to forgive my friend, er…
Gregor: Inspector Gregor.
Harriet: You’ll have to forgive my friend, Inspector Gregor. He’s a few sticks short of… a stick.
Gregor: I see. Make a note of that Sergeant.
Constable: Is that relevant sir?
Gregor: Of course! (addresses the kids). My assistant, Sergeant Constable (indicates Constable).
(Constable inclines his head).
Gregor (con’t): Now, can you both tell me where you were at three p.m. on the day of June the 1st?
Harriet: (looks at her watch) Umm, unless this only takes a few minutes, in here with you.
(Gregor looks at the clock on the far wall. It is ten minutes to three).
Gregor: Oh. (pauses). Well… I have a few questions about the murder. First…
David: (interrupting) Are they multiple choice?
Gregor: (startled). What?
David: Are they multiple choice?
Harriet: I think you should direct your questions to me Inspector.
Gregor: Of course. Make a note of that Sergeant.
Constable: (looking up from notes) Is that entirely necessary sir?
(Gregor glares at him)
Constabe (cont’d): Very well sir.
Gregor: Now then, Miss…?
Harriet: Johnson. Harriet Johnson.
Gregor: Miss Johnson. When was the last time you saw the deceased alive?
Harriet: Yesterday morning in our lecture.
Gregor: And what lecture was that…?
Harriet: Intro to Journalism.
Gregor: Ah, a journalist. (he visibly recoils). What was today’s class meant to be?
Harriet: The tutorial for yesterday’s lecture.
Gregor: And when did you first notice something was wrong?
Harriet: Well, we were walking back from the lecture theatre after we’d read a note on the door saying classes had been cancelled. And then David saw the lecturer’s car, and he thought...
David: Why thank you.
Harriet: I use ‘thought’ in the broadest sense of the word. Anyway, he saw the car and thought if her car was here than she must be here, ergo...
Gregor: (expectantly) Go on.
Harriet: (pausing) Err… ergo she must be here?
Gregor: You already said that. (addressing David). So you were walking from the theatre and you saw the lecturer’s car?
David: Actually I saw it this morning.
Harriet: (amazed) And it took you five minutes after we read the note to realise that meant she was here?
David: (pauses). Your point is?
Harriet: (shaking her head). Never mind. I suppose that was rather quick for the grandson of a goat.
Gregor: (confused) What?
Harriet: Never mind Inspector.
Gregor: I see… (pauses). Make a note of that Sergeant.
Constable: (wearily). Of course sir.
(Close up on Constable’s notepad. He is playing naughts and crosses with himself).
Gregor: Do you know if the deceased… what was her name? (yells) Constable!
Constable: Jessica Caine.
Gregor: Thank you. Do you know if Miss Caine…
Constable: (interrupting). Mrs.
Gregor: What?
Constable: (looks up from notes). Mrs Caine.
Gregor: Of course. Make a note…
Constable: (interrupting again). I already have sir.
Gregor: (slaps his hands together) Excellent. Do you know if the deceased had any enemies?
Harriet: None that I know of.
David: (at the same time) Hundreds.
(Gregor, Harriet and Constable look at him)
Gregor: Hundreds?
Harriet: Who?
David: Well, she was a very harsh marker. Liked to fail her students. After that last assessment she wasn’t very well liked.
Harriet: (laughing) That’s ridiculous.
David: You yourself said that you wouldn’t mind finishing her off.
Harriet: (hurriedly). Well, yes that’s what I said. But I meant it metaphorically.
David: How do you metaphorically kill someone?
Harriet: In the same way you can have a post-meditated crime I guess. (she stops. Gregor is staring at the two of them, confused). Apart from a stupid dislike by most of the students I don’t see anyone wanting to murder her, Inspector.
Gregor: Thank you miss. Constable will take your details and if I need you I will get in touch. You will of course be needed for the inquest.
Harriet: Of course Inspector. If I may ask, do you know when she died?
Gregor: Not as yet. We’ll have to wait for the doctor’s report. But in my expert opinion I’d say she died between midnight and 1:00p.m.
(Jump to Harriet and David walking outside the classroom)
Harriet: In other words, today. Some expert opinion. I could have told you that.
David: You did, didn’t you?
(Stops in front of the lecture theatre. The note is still there).
Harriet: (grabbing David roughly by the collar) What were you playing at, telling the Inspector that I said I wanted to kill Caine?
David: Well, he asked me a question and I answered it.
Harriet: Yes, but you could have left me out of it.
David: (hangs his head) Sorry.
Harriet: (remorsefully) That’s ok. (she puts an arm around him) It’s not your fault you have all the intelligence and tact of a llama.
David: (looks at her). Why a llama?
Harriet: I couldn’t think of anything else.
David: Are llamas tactless?
Harriet: (thinks for a moment). They could be, if they could talk. (shakes her head). My God, you are infectious.
David: Is that a compliment?
Harriet: Sure. Why not? Anyway, it doesn’t matter that you told the Inspector that I hated Caine. We’ve figured out the crime must have been premeditated, so it’s unlikely that a student did it.
David: Why?
Harriet: Because a student wouldn’t know what time she’d be getting to uni. It must have been someone who knew her routine.
David: Not necessarily. They could have seen her turn up this morning like I did.
Harriet: I didn’t think of that. That’s very clever of you.
David: Can I have that in writing?
Harriet: (laughs). But there’s another thing that makes it premeditated. The note, remember? It would have been difficult for a student to make up a note saying that classes were cancelled on campus and to put up here after killing Caine without being seen. However, if it was premeditated, they could have made it at home.
David: That’s true, but there’s something wrong.
Harriet: Noticed something else have you?
David: Yes. (walks over to the note.) This edge here. At the top.
Harriet: (examines it). Good god, it’s been torn.
(She begins to look around, spots a bin and starts going through it. She stops and looks at David).
Harriet (cont’d): (angrily) Want to help?
David: No. With two of us doing it, it might look stupid.
(She continues to search)
Harriet: Aha! (brings something out). Look at this.
(She shows him a scrap of paper that says Business Studies. She puts it at the top of the note on the door and it fits.)
David: (reading) Business Studies classes cancelled due to illness. (pauses) So, it was post meditated.
No comments:
Post a Comment